“Drinking was a way to deal with my sensitivity” - Alex’s story
I was a sensitive kid. I became a vegetarian at age 4, after finding out where the sheep on the truck were headed.
Although I didn’t realise it at the time, it was the same sensitivity that 10 years later led me to start smoking, drinking and eventually taking drugs.
These substances became instant cures for the anxiety that I hadn’t even acknowledged (was anxiety even a thing in the early 90’s?), but substances don’t really cure anxiety; they mask it and feed it.
Despite my drinking I was still drawn to the healing path. In my early 30's I trained as a Reiki healer, which triggered some intense psychic experiences. The instructor (a recovering alcoholic herself) said she felt that I was destined to follow the healing path professionally, and I also felt this, but when she brought up my drinking and how this might not fit, I tried to minimise it, and before long I was drawn back to booze and Reiki took a backseat.
I was a single mum with a minimal social life, so wine was a friend, more than something to enjoy with friends.
In the 2 years leading up to getting sober, I knew something needed to shift. I was waking up at 4am with a heavy dread in my chest, often accompanied by suicidal thoughts. I was in an unhealthy relationship. Every morning I promised myself that I wouldn’t drink that day, but each afternoon I would buy a bottle of wine anyway.
There were many rock-bottom moments in which I desperately tried to stop drinking, but the moment I actually quit for good was more of a quiet realisation which took me by surprise.
The first few months were tricky, for sure, and then one day I woke up and something had shifted. The short version of the story is that I was suddenly quite aware of the spirit world around me. I had my first conscious mediumship experience, completely out of the blue. The clarity of the message overpowered my fear of telling the person that it was meant for. My intuition was suddenly turned up full blast. I knew then what alcohol had been drowning out for all these years. Maybe I just wasn’t ready to cope with being so aware, and that was my way of turning the volume down. In any case, I was ready now to walk this path with full awareness.
I began to test these new abilities and found that I could easily tune into others energies. I gave lots of free psychic readings to practice and found that what came most naturally was my medical intuition. I could sense people’s illnesses and send healing where it needed to be.
A year after getting sober I found Kundalini yoga and was instantly hooked. I’d wanted to commit to a yoga practice for 20 years, but alcohol had always come first. Kundalini is the yoga of awareness, with a big focus on energy, so it was a great way to channel and enhance what was happening for me and I soon signed up to teacher training to share Kundalini with others.
I believe that many intuitive and sensitive souls end up using substances to cope with this. Learning to tune into our energetic selves is a more sustainable option.
Alex is a healer, yoga and meditation teacher you can follow her here: https://www.facebook.com/Alex-McLean-Kundalini-Yoga-and-Healing-330958920928708/
She will be hosting some sessions for us in the Untox AF Club community: https://untoxicated.com.au/untoxicated-af-club